We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
