Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
