I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
