my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
