Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
