Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
