smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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