I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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