The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
