Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
