So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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