Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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