as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
