ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
