The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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