She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
