Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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