Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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