Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
