yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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