obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize