Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
