how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
