It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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