Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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