I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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