he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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