i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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