He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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