i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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