Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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