I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
