so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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