Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
