you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
