Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize