I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
