There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
