She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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