win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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