Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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