The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
