you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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