5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
high people should be assigned attendants
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
