Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
