I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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