Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
