I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
