Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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