There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
