I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
