How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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