I hope mine doesn't look like that
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
