Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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