I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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