I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
