if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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