whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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