he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
