I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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