When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
