I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
