Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
